Change is often difficult. We are often afraid of the unknown, of the what-will-come-of-our-current-efforts.
I'm in that sort of place right now. I'm applying for a bunch of teaching jobs. My wife is about to leave her job, which has provided us with health insurance for the past three years. We are in transition.
I've applied for jobs here in Chicago, but I'm also applying for a number of jobs that aren't here in Chicago. Michigan, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, among others. We might experience significant change. We might not. But, here we are. We continue, we persevere. We do what must be done.
I'm not afraid to admit that I'm concerned about what comes next. Will I finish my book? Will I get a good job? Will I get anyone interested in publishing what I'm writing? All of these questions lurk, and yet... and YET... one must do what one can to carry on, to keep going, to keep working. On what matters. Chicago has been hit hard in the past week or so by a major blizzard. The snow is still overwhelming. Tomorrow morning, I will dig out my car (again) for the first time in more than a week because I have to be somewhere for auditions for an upcoming project.
It's okay. It's alright. Solutions don't appear overnight. They come when they do. I missed being at AWP this past weekend. At least my book was there. (Thanks Katerina!) I wish you all, whoever might happen upon this - strength and courage and stamina to go on, to face the world as it is, because it isn't always as we might wish it to be. It is what it is, and we must soldier on, trying to find our place in it.
Namaste.
Brian
Monday, February 7, 2011
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